18, girl, danish. I hope you have a great day

 

person: she--

me: it's he.

person: *condescending smile* well, on your birth certificate--

me: yeah, it also says ' 8lbs, 6 oz ' -- a lot has changed over the years

handpickedhappiness:

thevoxbox:

charlesoberonn:

giftvvrap:

will you marry me = a marriage proposal
will, you, Mary, me = a foursome proposal

Will you, Mary me = Cavewoman Mary helps Will recover from his Amnesia

Will, you marry me. = Will’s time-traveling partner

And people keep trying to tell me that punctuation isn’t important

licklucifer:

lucisensitivesatan:

lesbianathogwarts:

dittoh:

Stab wound? You mean extra pocket.

nobody on this website should be allowed outside i swear to god

You mean something like this?

image

gif…for…everything.

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.